Meeting people through gardening groups and allotments

Why gardeners make good company

Gardening is patient, practical and full of small talk that isn't really small. Ask someone how their tomatoes did and you'll learn whether they're an optimist. A shared interest in growing things also means you'll never run out of things to say, at least until the slugs come up for the fourth time.

Gardening groups tend to be mixed and sociable, with plenty of members over 50 who have more time now than they've had in decades. Nobody is in a hurry, which suits getting to know someone.

Which gardening group suits you?

It depends on whether you want your own patch, a monthly talk and a cup of tea, or a few hours' hard work with company. Most people end up doing more than one.

How do I get an allotment?

Apply to your local council or, on self-managed sites, to the allotment association. Then expect to wait, and use the time to get to know the site.

An allotment is a plot of land on a shared site that you rent, usually by the year, to grow fruit, vegetables and flowers. An allotment association is the members' group that runs a site or works with the council on it: seed orders, work days, the summer show and the barbecue.

1. Find your council's allotment page. In England and Wales, GOV.UK's "Apply for an allotment" page points you to it. Elsewhere, search your council's website.
2. Ask how long the waiting list is, and whether half-plots or smaller beds are available. Waiting lists vary a lot from place to place.
3. Visit the site at a weekend. Say hello to whoever is about; most plot-holders will happily show you round.
4. Ask the site secretary about helping with a plot while you wait. Helping an older plot-holder who can't manage it all is one of the nicest ways to arrive.
5. Join the association if your site has one. It's how you get invited to everything.

The National Allotment Society also publishes plain advice on getting a plot.

Allotment manners, briefly

Keep your paths clear, don't help yourself to anyone's produce, shut the gate, and offer your gluts around. Gardeners remember who gave them courgettes in August, and who didn't.

Garden clubs and horticultural societies

Many towns and villages have a garden club or horticultural society that meets once a month for a talk, runs plant sales and organises outings to gardens. Some also put on an annual show, with vegetables judged far more seriously than you'd expect.

Look for posters at the library, the village hall, the garden centre or in the parish newsletter. Go to a talk first as a visitor, and stay for the tea afterwards: that's where people talk. Offering to help at the plant sale gets you known quickly.

Community gardens, Green Gyms and volunteering

Community gardens, orchards and food-growing projects often welcome volunteers, whether or not you have a garden of your own. Public and historic gardens often take on volunteer gardeners too. You'll work alongside the same people each week, which is exactly how friendships form.

A Green Gym is a TCV group that meets outdoors to do practical conservation work, such as planting, path repairs or clearing ponds, at a pace that suits the group. TCV's website lets you search for one near you. For other projects, look on your council's website or ask at your local volunteer centre.

Open garden days

Open garden schemes let you visit private gardens on set days, with the entry money going to charity. In England and Wales, look at the National Garden Scheme; in Scotland, Scotland's Gardens Scheme opens gardens across the country to raise money for hundreds of charities. Both publish their opening dates in advance.

They're not really places to meet strangers, but they make a cracking date: something to look at, something to talk about, and usually tea and cake. The National Garden Scheme also has ways to get involved as a volunteer, which is a sociable route in.

u3a gardening groups

u3a has over 1,000 local u3as across the UK, where members "learn for fun in retirement" through interest groups they run themselves. Gardening, garden visiting and walking groups are the kind of thing members set up, so ask your local u3a what it offers. You can find yours on the u3a website or by calling the u3a office on 020 8466 6139.

From the plot to a first date

If you click with someone over the compost bins, suggest something away from the site: a garden open day, a plant fair or a botanic garden with a café. It's neutral ground, it's public, and you'll still have plenty to talk about.

Example only: "Hope your leeks survived the frost. There's an open garden in the next village on Sunday. Would you like to come and judge whether their veg beats ours?"

Our guide to ten outdoor first dates has more ideas, with a plan for when it pours.

If you're meeting someone from online rather than the allotment, the same ideas work. Just keep your plot's location off your profile for now. An allotment is a place you visit at regular times, and a stranger doesn't need to know where or when. Our page on meeting a date outdoors safely explains why, and dating safely over 50 covers the warning signs of a scam.

Putting gardening on your profile

Example only: "Two raised beds, one greenhouse, and a running feud with the pigeons. Happiest with soil under my nails and a flask on the bench. Looking for someone who'll come to a garden open day and not mind if I take cuttings."

That says far more than "I enjoy gardening". For more on writing a hobby-led profile, see meeting someone through a hobby you love. If you also like your walks long and your rivers full of fish, read fishing and walking clubs.