Meeting a date outdoors safely

Choose the place with care

A safe outdoor first date is somewhere busy, public and easy to leave, in daylight, with a café or pub a few minutes away. The best spot is one you already know or can look up: a popular riverside path, a park with a café, a market, a garden that's open to the public.

Avoid anywhere quiet or isolated for now, however beautiful. That includes remote walks, empty beaches, woods, private land and anyone's home or boat. They can wait until you know each other.

If your date suggests the place, look it up yourself before you agree. Is it busy? Is there parking or a bus stop nearby? Is there phone signal? If the answer to any of those is no, suggest somewhere else. Someone worth meeting won't mind. Our ten outdoor first dates has plenty of places that pass the test.

Getting there and getting home

Make your own way there and back, so you can leave the moment you want to. It's the single habit that keeps the most options open.

• Make your own way, both ways. Drive, take the bus or get a taxi. Don't accept a lift, even if it's kindly meant.
• Don't share your home address yet. Meet at the place, not at your door.
• Park somewhere sensible. Near the entrance, in a busy car park, and not somewhere you'll be walking back to alone at dusk.
• Know your way home. Check the last bus or train if you're relying on one, especially on a Sunday.
• Keep the time short. One to two hours is plenty. You can always meet again.

Tell someone: a simple check-in plan

Before you go, tell a friend or family member where you'll be, who you're meeting and when you'll message to say you're fine. Then do message them. If you don't check in, they'll know something's up. It's an old habit from hill walking, and it works just as well for dates.

Here's an example message to a friend, with the details made up:

Meeting Pat (profile name RiversideRambler) at the café by the lock on the canal path, 11am Saturday. Should be done by 1. I'll text by 1.30. If you haven't heard, ring me, then ring again.

Most smartphones can also share your live location with a chosen contact for a set time. It's worth switching on for the afternoon and off again when you're home.

Phone, weather and daylight

Outdoor plans depend on things you can check the night before: charge, signal, forecast and light.

• Charge your phone fully, and take a small power bank if you have one.
• Check the signal where you're going. Some valleys, coasts and riverbanks have none.
• Check the forecast the night before and the morning of the date. If it looks wild, move to your rain plan rather than pressing on.
• Watch the light. In winter, afternoon daylight goes fast. Meet in the morning or early afternoon.

By the water: riverbanks, beaches and boats

Water is where an outdoor date can go wrong fastest, so keep first meetings on the bank, not in or on the water. Riverbanks can be slippery, edges crumble, and the water is often colder and faster than it looks.

• Check the tide before a beach walk. Tide tables for UK ports are published through the UK Hydrographic Office's tidal prediction service. Know when the tide turns and stay off spits, sandbars and cut-off points.
• No private boats, kayaks or paddleboards with someone you've just met. A public trip boat with a crew and other passengers is fine.
• No fishing alone together somewhere remote. A busy day-ticket water with a café is a different matter.
• If you fall in, the RNLI's advice is to float to live: lean back with your ears in the water, spread your arms and legs, and float until you've got your breath back, before you try to swim or call for help.
• If someone is in trouble at the coast, call 999 in the UK and ask for the Coastguard. In Ireland, call 112 or 999 and ask for the Coast Guard. Don't go in after them.

In the countryside

If your walk crosses farmland, the Countryside Code applies: stick to paths, leave gates as you find them, and keep dogs under effective control. The code also advises that if cattle chase you and your dog, it's safer to let the dog off the lead than to hang on.

For first meetings, though, the countryside is best enjoyed from the edge of a busy country park. If anyone is lost or hurt on the hills in the UK, call 999 and ask for the Police, then Mountain Rescue.

Drink, and leaving early

Keep alcohol light or skip it; you're walking, and you want a clear head on the way home. Keep an eye on your drink if you stop at a pub, and don't leave it with someone you've just met.

Many pubs and bars in the UK take part in Ask for Angela: if you feel unsafe, ask a member of staff for "Angela" and staff will help you discreetly, for example by calling you a taxi. Look out for the scheme's posters.

You can leave whenever you want, for any reason. "It's been nice to meet you, I'm going to head off now" is enough. If someone makes you feel unsafe, go somewhere with people, such as a café, shop or busy car park, and call 999 if you need to.

Warning signs on the day

Most first dates are simply pleasant. A few signs suggest it's time to go:

• They push to change the plan to somewhere quieter, or to their car or home.
• They keep offering a lift, or ask where you live, after you've said no.
• They look clearly different from their photos, or their story has changed.
• They're drinking heavily, or pressing you to.
• Money comes up: a loan, an investment, a problem only you can solve.

Any one of these is reason enough to leave.

After the date

Message your friend to say you're home. If anything about the date worried you, or if your date later asks for money, report the profile through the members' help centre. Our safety guide has the warning signs of romance fraud and where to report it in each part of the UK and Ireland.

If you'd rather meet people more gradually, fishing and walking clubs and gardening groups are good places to start, and our guide to dating over 50 in the UK covers the bigger picture.